Teaching Rudeness

I have written before about how I am not a parent.  I have also written about how people seem to be getting more and more rude.  I am starting to see how the two things are starting to correlate.  It seems to me that at some point the entire point of being a parent got lost and the whole idea of setting up rules and teaching kids how to behave in public fell by the wayside.  In turn, this has created a generation of people who honestly feel they don’t need to consider other people around them and that the entire world revolves around them. 

Not long ago both of my parents went to a movie.  As they sat a mother and her two children sat directly behind them.  The young boy proceeded to then repeatedly kick the back of my mother’s chair.  Repeated looks back in an attempt to notify the mother that her son was behaving rudely produced no response.  At some point it was just better to move so they moved.  My mother, however, informed the mother that she may want to take a moment to teach her son not to kick the backs of people’s chairs.  The mother responded like a deer in the headlights and proceeded to let her son keep kicking the back of the chair throughout the rest of the movie. 

Not long ago, I was in a church service.  A young father came in and sat near the front.  He had a small child with him.  This child was old enough to speak, however, and spoke well.  How do I know?  Because the child was speaking, nay yelling, loud enough for people outside the church to hear him clearly, that’s how.  I sat there and watched the father.  I waited for the father to lean over and tell his child to be quiet.  I waited for him to grab the child and carry him hastily out of the church.  Neither happened so the rest of us got to sit through a service punctuated by loud remarks and noises from a two year old. 

I think at some point the idea came about that only positive things should be said to children.  It is as if their egos are so fragile that telling them “NO” about anything will so shatter them they will all become mass murderers or perhaps Marilyn Manson or something like that an no one wants that.  I, on the other hand, think that the reason we have kids who think it’s OK to settle arguments with classmates by stabbing them or shooting them is because boundaries have not been set. 

Of course there are those who seem to think it is the rest of the world’s j ob to raise everyone else’s kids.  Hilary Clinton loves the idea of it taking a village to raise kids.  I don’t care where she got this idea, I think that it’s a piece of crap theory and should be flushed and done so immediately.  It should not be up to me or anyone else to raise anyone else’s kids.  It should be up to the parents to properly train their children how to behave around other people and how to behave in public and around people. 

 

I am quite sure that this must have started long enough ago that most of the people currently out there procreating were raised in this manner.  It seems to me that half of the people in grocery stores must have been raised this way.  Here is a tip from Poppa Bryan to you shoppers who were raised believing you were the only person in the world.  If you are going to stand there staring at the jars of applesauce for eighteen hours, kindly move your car over enough that people can get past you.  The rest of the world is not really dying to sit there and watch you debating whether or not to get the Mott’s or the generic brand while we wait to be able to pass you.  We just want to get to the aisle that has potato chips and then move on.   

Here’s an idea for you.  How about you get off the *&*^%$^% cell phone when it’s your turn to pay at any establishment?  The rest of us behind you do not want to stand there while you attempt to carry on a completely stupid and unimportant conversation, work with your purse, find your money, pay the person, handle your purchase and find a place for your change.  Get off the damn phone, conduct your business and then call the person back.  In fact, why not wait until you get home and then call them back. 

If you ever end up behind somebody who appears to be driving drunk more than likely they are on a cell phone.  They dip and weave and drive too slowly.  They swerve from left to right.  They are so busy talking about something more than likely galatically stupid that they are not paying attention to what street they are on. 

People, you must share the planet with other people.  Children need to be raised to realize they are not the most important things in the world.  They must realize that while life is precious, not just their life is precious.  That means you hold the door open for the older person trying to get in.  You hold the door open for the person behind you.  You look before you back out of the parking space.  You realize you are not alone in the store and you look to see if there are people behind you.  Finally, you shut up in a movie, church service or any other place where silence in preferred.  It is not cute or letting the child express themselves by just letting the kid jabber loudly when someone else is talking. It’s annoying and you need to tell the kid to shut the hell up.   

What happened when I mouthed off to my parents?  They told me to be quiet?  What happened when I came screaming into the kitchen while my mother was on the phone?  She told me to shut up.  What they did not do is try to be my buddy and just laugh and tell me it was all right to express myself and loudly and obnoxiously as I wanted any time and anywhere I so desired.  They taught me there was a time and place for things and that I should be considerate of others around me and not just assume everyone wanted to listen to or watch me do whatever I wanted. 

I guess this is an idea that has become old-fashioned.  Now, if your kid wants to stand up in the middle of the funeral service and sing the Elmo Song that should be fine because junior might have some bad memory of that twenty years from then.  Personally, I say who cares.  No matter what you do your kid will hate you at some point anyway.  All kids do.  No one is perfect.   

Just remember how you could have taught them limits and boundaries when they are sitting in prison kicking a drug habit after an aggravated assault charge has been pressed against them and they have been convicted.  Maybe telling the kid to shut the hell up when he or she is three would have been better. 

Bryan W. Alaspa’s novel Dust is available in print and eBook format at his website www.bryanalaspa.com and www.amazon.com.