Just a Short Time More

The political season is just about over.  As I write this, it is only a couple of days away.  It should be something that is amazing to watch.  Our political system is, if I may brag, the finest in the world.  Generally speaking there aren’t coups or tanks roaming the streets forcing the will of a particular leader around here.  At the very least, there haven’t been for quite some time, anyway.  However, the one thing I can surely say about this season is, MAN am I glad it’s almost over. 

There’s a problem with American politics and it has very little to do with the views of the Republicans or Democrats.  It has to do with the advertising.  If you are like me, you are about ready to pull your teeth out with a pair of pliers if you have to watch on more ad approved by anybody.   

The ads start seeping into our culture and lives very slowly at first.  Usually, the candidate who has the most money starts doing a few commercials here and there maybe up a year before the election.  These are usually the self-congratulatory type of ads. 

The scene will open to a governor or senator or representative in a park somewhere that is probably nowhere near the state they represent.  The sky will be blue.  Their hair will remain perfect despite any wind.  Throngs of children will be sitting at their feet. 

“Hi there.  I’m Joe Snerdly and I’ve been Governor of [

INSERT
STATE] for some time now.  In that time, I have managed to knock out crime, solve the budget crisis, cure cancer, and make our children into super brains.  Never mind the fact that we had to cut a deal with
North Korea to make all of that happen.  Vote Snerdly.  My wife would.” 

We then get a nice shot of the candidate with his or her spouse.  There is usually music of a patriotic nature and a flag waves somewhere.  They are relatively pleasant if a little stupid and they blend right into the background.  However, as the election starts to get closer the ads start to take a darker tone.  By this time the incumbent has enough money to hire slick
Hollywood producers to make the commercials.  The person trying to unseat the incumbent has been stumping all over the place as well and has a nice little war-chest.   

The commercials start to run more often.  They take a darker tone.  The negative ads start coming out.  Both candidates are throwing mud.  These commercials usually have still pictures of the opposing candidate followed by ominous music and words that float out of the background with accusing words like MURDERER. 

“You’ve had four years of Joe Snerdly.   In that time Snerdly has embezzled sixteen trillion dollars and built himself twelve mansions.  He also likes to kick puppies to death on weekends.  Finally, he was last seen three weeks ago actually eating babies instead of kissing them.  Is this the kind of leadership we want in this state?  Bobby Junobits doesn’t think so.  Remember that eclipse a couple weeks back?  It was Bobby who brought the sun back.  Vote Bobby Snerdly.  He can control the sun god and he doesn’t eat babies.”            At some point there will be a voice that speaks really fast and says that this commercial was paid for by one party or another.  Sometimes you get the ones that the candidate actually approves.  Neither actually says anything.  None of them actually tell you how the candidate will accomplish any of the things he or she promises.  In each one, I sense a certain desperation.  Please, elect me, so I can then vanish into the political system until the next election. 

Usually, at some point, after both candidates have accused each other of everything from cheating to sleeping with other people and possibly animals a candidate will have a commercial where they decry the other guy’s negative ads.  We got that here in
Illinois in the gubernatorial race between incumbent Rod Blagojevich and Republican Judy Barr-Topinka.  After accusing each other of everything short of the Holocaust there came an ad where Blago stood before a tree with his hair helmet looking shellacked enough to deflect large-caliber bullets. 

“According to my opponent I’m responsible for everything wrong with the world and I’m the worst person in existence.” 

What this does about actually running a state or solving any of the actual problems in the state and the country I have no idea.  In the end that’s the real problem with these stupid commercials.  They just try to scare you or make you agree with something you already agree with.  They do very little, if anything, to actually make a person choose to vote and who to vote for.  In fact, I have heard many people here in this state say they would rather not vote for either candidate for governor just because the commercials are such a turn-off. 

Now that the vote is just a few days away there are time, especially during the news, where the entire commercial break is nothing but ads for candidates.  With the whole fairness thing and probably other reasons there are times the one candidate will have a commercial followed immediately by the opponent running a commercial that attempts to refute everything that the previous commercial just said.  At some point it’s like having commercials arguing with each other.   

The end result of all of those ads is a din that does nothing to truly differentiate the candidates and resolves nothing.  I am supposing there are a few people who might be influenced by these.  I am guessing ads must work for some reason because every time an election comes around they all spend tons of money for these things.  If it turned out they could spend all of that money on something else that would get them elected they probably would. 

I will be glad when this election is over.  In the end, I hope at least one good candidate gets elected who will actually do something for this state and this country.  Whether or not this happens, I have my doubts.  I just want the commercials to stop.  There are so many products that need stupid commercials to be run right now. 

 

Bryan W. Alaspa’s new novel Dust is now available for sale at his website www.bryanalaspa.com and www.amazon.com.